


How to Run Away from Sunshine

by daintylemonsquare



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Genre: AU where Julian was running away from Hollywood to Dalton instead, Angst, M/M, Mild Stuart Trio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28101993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daintylemonsquare/pseuds/daintylemonsquare
Summary: Julian Larson ran away to Dalton whenever Hollywood got too much for him.
Relationships: Julian Larson-Armstrong/Clark Sawyer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	How to Run Away from Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Read the end notes for this one. It's not just a song I listened to.

His mom was getting frustrated with him. That was fair. He was getting frustrated with himself too. There were so many opportunities he could take. So many roles he could do, connections he could make, hone his craft. Yet he was in Ohio, in some private school where parents threw their kids into so they didn’t have to deal with them for the majority of the year. This was how he knew he was a good actor. That somehow, he could still convince Dolce Larson that he really wanted to keep going to Dalton instead of having an on-set tutor because he wanted to experience a small inch of a normal life outside the galaxy that was Hollywood. He wondered, after Dolce asked him why he didn’t do the audition, why he prioritized school over his career, and he gave her his usual spiel, if his mother knew he was lying and was trying to see if she could catch him in the middle of it. That couldn’t’ve been it, since his mother would’ve called him out the moment even one of his syllables hit the wrong note. Still, he wondered.

Hollywood was a big place. Many places to hide, many places to go, many places to be busy in. Clark Sawyer was but another big fish in the overpopulated ocean. Julian didn’t have to fly to Ohio to avoid him. If he wanted to, he could. The last time he did that, Clark texted him:

“Hey…are you mad at me?”

And Julian said, “No lol why?” This was followed by five thinking emojis.

“I don’t know…We aren’t hanging out as much and you keep cancelling on me. It’s stupid but I wanted to be sure. I would’ve hate if I did something to hurt you, you know?” Clark said.

And Julian said, “I’m just busy lol. Don’t be stupid. How’s Friday? We can have lunch.” This was followed by five pizza emojis.

What Julian didn’t say that he’d rather not see Clark with the new starlet he was talking to. The same starlet he introduced Clark to when Clark was too nervous to talk to her at an award’s show. He’d been bringing her around a lot. If she wasn’t there from the start, she showed up later. And if she didn’t show up later, Clark would talk about her. Julian wasn’t in the mood for that. She was nice. Still new to the business. She wasn’t a bad actress. Julian had watched some of her work in hopes of finding more reasons to hate her but he couldn’t.

“Alright. Just you and me. J and C.” This was followed by a smiling emoji and a fist emoji.

Julian replied with a fist emoji too.

Clark was so happy to see him again and at the end of the day Clark double checked to be sure that Julian was okay and that he shouldn’t kill himself by overworking. That he was still young. That he had time.

And that was what got Julian—his kindness, his optimism, his earnestness. It radiated from him, bright and proud. Nothing could dampen it and it was as beautiful to see as his smile. His brilliance was too much to bear and too omnipresent and too persistent for Julian to stay in Hollywood. At least in Dalton, he could say he was busy and no one expected him to get on a plane for the weekend to hangout, least of all Clark, who thought Julian was doing something admirable instead of cowardly.

Julian hated Ohio. There was nothing to do, nothing to see. The most excitement he got from being in Dalton was the petty dramas that people got into. He wondered what it would’ve been like if he was just some kid in the drama club and Clark was just an upperclassman in a band. Not the Warblers, but a regular band. He imagined what it would’ve been like and imagined how sad and pathetic would’ve still been.

He put on a smile and an unbothered air about him as he walked the halls of Dalton Academy with his friends. He never talked about his time in Hollywood or why he was here rather than there. They never asked. He loved that about them. He could at least say that he wasn’t completely lying to his mom. This was a normal teenage life with normal teenage friend (or as normal as it could be with their wealth) and a normal teenage crush with feelings that were too big for his small teenage brain.

“You know,” he said one night while he and his friends watched a movie, “that could’ve been me. I had an audition for it but I didn’t take it.” He referred to one of the main characters.

“Was it not up to your standards?” Logan snorted. Julian rolled his eyes.

“Dude,” Derek exclaimed, “dude, no shit? Why not? It’s a cool movie!”

Because Clark was in it. Because Clark gushed about this girl he auditioned with. Because Julian found said girl on Twitter and showed it to Clark and urged him to ask her out.

Julian shrugged. “Midterms.”

He did go back to Hollywood from time to time and for nothing important. At least, not for him. For Clark, he went. He watched their VMA performance and was the first to congratulate him backstage. He was there when they released Grammy noms and Haven got one. He was there when Clark had to go to a premiere he was nervous about and he didn’t have a date and none of the Haven boys were available that day. He was there on Clark’s birthday even though he had an exam the same day. He was there when the girl who he auditioned with broke up with him and Clark was moping around Haven manor. Each time, Clark lit up and swung his arms around Julian and gave him the best hug that Julian could ever receive in his life. Each time, Clark told him: “Julian, you’re the best.” And it felt good for one second before Julian reality crash down on that glee.

Then he left. There was no real reason to stay too long with Clark. He was straight. He wasn’t going to try anything and there was no point in doing so. At least he knew where he stood in Clark’s life. If he were queer, Julian would’ve had an even bigger problem if Clark only saw him as a friend. He didn’t like wasting time for nothing. As soon as he could, he left. Back to mundanity. Back to people whose smile didn’t make him want to jump into the ocean and scream and fill him with so much joy that he had no idea where else to put it so it made his heart explode.

Julian was going to graduate soon. He got a role on Broadway, and hopefully more roles there for a little bit longer. His first show was on a day Clark went on tour. He had asked to postpone his first show, again much to the chagrin of his mother and the team that helped him get the role. He needed time with his friends from Dalton. They planned a summer trip to Europe. He couldn’t miss it. This was his last moments of being a regular teenager, he claimed. He agreed to extend his contract.

It was time.

He changed his phone number and cut out a few specific numbers out. He made sure that no one provided his new number unless he provided it for him. He muted people on Twitter. He set up a new Instagram for the trip, planning to post on his main account when he was back on American soil. Carmen had his emails sorted. It hurt to do that. It hurt knowing that Clark was going to be confused, but he could always pull out the busy card. He was going to be busy, after all. It wasn’t a huge lie. After this summer, he was going to have no time for himself. He made sure of that. Then Clark would fade in the background, the same way he faded into Clark’s background over the years. Then maybe, just maybe, Julian could move on with his life and think of this time fondly as that time he was in love with one of his best friends.

There were still moments, of course, that he cherished. It wasn’t all bitter resentment and forced happiness. He couldn’t act all the time, no matter how much he wished he could.

It was for the best.

They were in the Hamptons. The Seigerson’s summer home by the beach, where the sunlight didn’t smile back and burn him to a crisp. It’d been a couple of weeks since they threw their caps in the air and made their way up here, bags packed and ready for Europe after a bit of time decompressing from all of those tests. Julian carried his guilt with a smile and tried to drown it in wine whenever he could. This was the summer he came out to his friends. It wasn’t as painful as he thought it would be. Derek wasn’t cringey about it. Logan didn’t argue with him when he said “bisexual.” All was well. And he felt lighter somewhat. He talked about Clark. He was drunk. He couldn’t not talk about Clark when he was drunk.

“You could find better,” Logan said.

“Forget about him. Us straight guys? Fucking trash,” Derek said. They laughed and laughed into their wine that they weren’t supposed to be drinking.

It was a nice couple of weeks.

They were a handful of days away from their flight. They were double checking their itinerary. They argued about which tourist traps to visit and which to avoid. They laughed at Julian bringing a disguise. All the while, Julian wondered about his phone and wondered if Clark was looking for him or if he was already too angry (if he could be angry) or if he didn’t care at all. These thoughts permeated his days since he first went dark online and with his original phone number. He’d much rather not think about it. He could still feel Clark’s pull and he wasn’t going to let himself get dragged back into it no matter how guilty he felt about cutting him out like this. For all he knew, Clark didn’t notice and accepted that Julian was just busy.

That was when there was a ring at the doorbell. Derek dared Julian to answer the door, wondering how the pizza delivery boy would freak out if Julian Larson answered. Julian couldn’t believe he was going along with this, but he was a little tipsy and it would’ve been kinda funny.

“This is stupid,” Julian said when he got to the door.

“C’mon,” Derek goaded. “Introduce yourself. It’ll be wild.”

“Fine,” Julian groaned and swung the door open. “Hi, yes, it’s me, Julian La—”

Clark stood on the other side, hands stuffed in his pockets, an uncharacteristically heavy frown fastened on his face, and a glare that Julian didn’t think he could muster. Julian sobered up quick. He would’ve slammed the door shut and ran to Europe by himself if he weren’t frozen with mortification and a perverse joy seeing Clark Sawyer here.

“Clark,” Julian breathed.

Clark leaned forward, eyes trained on Julian's. “We need to fucking talk.”

**Author's Note:**

> I can't be arsed to write the ending but they kiss in Julian's room in the Seigerson's Hampton House after Clark got angry with Julian and demanded an explanation. Just imagine that. 
> 
> Song I Listened to on Repeat while I wrote this:  
> No Better by Lorde


End file.
